Just a Machine
by Lizardwriter22
Summary: "Look at him! He's not one of us! He's still just a machine!" Maybe they where right. …Maybe he really was just that…..a machine.


**AN: I just wanted to write some angst and then I become a coward an added fluff. *Warning for mentions of self harm and Connor trying to self destruct***

Quiet…

It was very…quiet….

The kinda quiet the eats away at the mind, the kind of quiet that makes you question things. A kind of quiet that made you want to scream, just to have some sort of noise. Some sort of distraction from the thoughts that had begun to from in your mind.

And that's exactly what Connor wanted too do, he wanted a distraction. A distraction from the dark thoughts that had begun to creep themselves into his minds. The voices in the back of his head that whispered doubts into his ear.

Quiet….

Connor resisted the urge to squirm in his seat, keeping his gaze focused on the floor. He could feel North's piercing base burning holes into the back of his head.

It was stupid of him to come here, stupid, stupid, stupid. He was foolish to tread where he didn't belong.

He wasn't one of them…

He knew his presence made the others uncomfortable, to North his presence simply made her angry. He could understand why, after all he put them through she deserved to be angry.

And yet…here he sat, at a table in New Jericho. Despite everything Markus still insisted he come to their little…meeting.

Him….the past deviant hunter.

Connor could feel how tense the atmosphere was, and apparently Markus could as well. Seeing as he cleared his throat, desperate to break the silence just as Connor had been.

"I know some of you might be confused-"

North quickly cut him off, jerking her head in Connors direction.

"Why don't you start by telling us what HE'S doing here?"

Connor flinched at the anger in her voice, swallowing thickly before answering "I-I am here because I was invited…"

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

North rounded her head to stare Connor straight in the face, her glare full of fury and suppressed anger. Connor could feel his chest tighten and his stress levels rising quickly .

Stress level: 56%

North began her way towards him "Invited? You think that just because you where invited that you could just waltz on in here? After what you've done?" North growled her voice increasing in volume.

Connor stood up from his chair so quickly that he surprised that it didn't fall over, he scrambled back as North got closer to him. Why was he so scared?

Stress levels: 65%

"Please.." He muttered slightly " please stop yelling"

North ignored him her voice only rising in volume, apparently she just have been suppressing this anger for awhile seeing as it took so little to set her off on him.

"You think, after all you've done. After all the pain you've cost, that you would be welcomed here? "

Connor shook his head back and forth, he could feel tears feeling his eyes. But he refused to cry, he deserved this.

"North" Markuses voice suddenly rang out through the room "That is enough!"

North whipped her head to look at Markus, anger still flashing in her eyes.

"How could you allow him to be here Markus! Look at him! He's not one of us! He's still just a machine!"

Connor could feel his throat tighten, breathing suddenly became so much harder.

Machine…

That all he was

A machine…

North is right…

She's right….

Stress level: 76%

Connor whimpered, a quiet noise that went unheard over all of the yelling. His back was pressed up against the wall. He was scared….Why was he so scared? Was he broken? A broken machine? He squeezed his eyes shut as the yelling continued.

Stress levels: 84%

"Look at him Markus! He even still where's that stupid Led in his head! He isn't one of us! He never was and he never will be! It's only a matter of time before he turns on us!"

" Please.. " Connor whimpered " S-Stop"

"He a machine Markus! A machine!"

" Please"

" He isn't the same as before North "

"How do you know that Markus! For all we know he could still be working for cyberlife! "

Connor covered his ears with his hands, clenching his eyes shut

Stress levels: 89%

"STOP! STOP IT"

Silence

The yelling had stopped, Connor opened his eyes blinking away tears. He looked up to find everyone staring at him. It was almost as if time itself had stopped completely.

Stress levels: 92%

For awhile it was simple silence, the room frozen in place. Connor reached a hand up to touch his face, wet.

He was crying…

"..Connor…" Markus whispered softly, taking a small step towards the trembling android.

Connor panicked..

Connor ran..

He ran out the doors despite the protests that were shouted after him, he ran into the cold night.

He just kept running..

Stress levels: 98%

Connor fell to his knees shaking, everything was just so overwhelming.

He needed release

He raised he head before soaking it into the hard concrete, over and over. It hurt but the pain was a distraction from the over whelming emotions.

It hurt

But it was worth it…

Suddenly someone seized him, wrapping their arms around him stopping him from his own self destruction. Connor being to frantically struggle in the person's hold .

"Connor stop!"

Connor froze, he knew that voice

"M-Markus..?" Choked out.

The person grip shifted, so that he was being hugged. His face buried in Markuses shoulder.

"Yes Connor…It's me.."

Connor doesn't know why, but he was once again over come with emotion. Tears filled his vision as he doing to Markus like a life line.

" M-Markus! " He sobbed into the older Android shoulder, his chest heaving.

Markus grip tightened, he gently began to rock the Android back and forth

"Easy Connor, it alright. Just calm down, lower your stress levels"

Connor relaxed slightly in his hold, he could feel his stress levels falling. The throbbing pain in his head becoming more noticeable the lower his stress levels became. He whimpered grip on Markus tightening,

"H-Hurts"

Markus hushed him gently, still holding him in his arms " It's alright Connor, just to to sleep. Everything will be better if you just go to sleep? Alright? "

Connor nodded against his shoulder, his eyelids drooping every so slightly. Warning flashed in front of his vision, but he ignored them. Allowing himself to fall into his rest mode. The last thing he remembered was Markuses gentle humming, before he was enveloped in darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time skip ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Connor noticed when he woke was voices.

"What the hell happened?"

"Hank, I understand that you are upset-"

"Upset?! My fucking sons face is practically bashed in! And you expect me not to be upset!?"

Connor recognized that voice. . "H-Hank..?" His voice came out hoarse and he winced. Instantly the other voices stopped, next thing he knew a hand was gently rubbing the top of his head.

" Connor? Son? Can you hear me? It's Hank.. "

Connor hummed slightly, pressing his head into the hand. The touch was comforting and familer. Hank chuckled,

"You think you could open your eyes for me son?"

Connor really didn't want too, but he did anyway. Slowly he fluttered his eyes open, wincing at the sudden flood of bright light. Blinking his eyes to clear his vision , he was able to see more clearly.

He was in a bed, Hank stood in front of him. His hands still gently stroking the side of this face, which now that he thought about it hurt. He tried to sit up only to be pushed back down again.

"W-Whoa there buddy, you gotta take it slow alright?"

Connor grunted before speaking " Hank.. " His voice came out hoarse and gruff, so Connor cleared his throat and tried again. "Hank…Where are we..?"

" You are in New Jericho.. "

Connor jumped, head turning to the side. And sure enough Markus stood, his expression a mixture of concern and…sadness.

Suddenly Connor was flooded with memories, he groaned as he gripped his head in his hands. Instantly he was in Hanks arms.

"H-Hey, it's alright son."

Connor buried his face in Hanks, Hanks grip tightening. Connor immediately felt much better. He allowed himself to be held for a few minutes longer, before he pulled away. He turned to look at Markus, struggling to find words. For the most part, Connor was embarrassed. In his eyes he felt as though he had over reacted. Finally Connor opened his mouth to speak,

"M-Markus, I…I'm sorry.."

Markus blinked at him in surprise " Sorry? For what? "

Connor swallowed thickly before continuing "F-For how I acted last night…I..I made a big deal over nothing, and ….I'm sorry"

Markus shook his head making his way over towards the now trembling bot, he took a seat on the corner of the androids bed resting a hand atop his shoulder.

"Connor.." He began " You have no need to apologize, it is I who should apologize. What North said too you was wrong, and she had no right. North has been through a lot, but doesn't excuse her actions. And I assure you, she regrets what she said to you deeply. "

Markus gently cupped Connors face with his hands, tilting his head up to look into Markus eyes.

"As for now you reacted, you where stressed and most likely upset. I know I would be if someone said those things to me."

Connor pulled away from him, drawing his legs up too his chest and resting his chin atop his knees.

" B-But..What if she's right Markus, what if I really am just a machine? "

Connor voice broke slightly at the end and he bruise his face into his knees,

"A-A broken Machine"

Markus opened his mouth to protest when Hank suddenly beat him to the punch, swiftly punching the androids shoulder. Not hard enough to do damage but hard enough to hurt. Connor yelped, Hank going up to rub at his now wife arm. He opened his mouth to ask Hank why, when the lieutenant suddenly wrapped his arms around him being him into a tight hug.

"Don't you ever fucking say that! You hear me? You are not a machine Connor! And you most definitely aren't fucking broken!"

Markus nodded his head in agreement , taking Connors hand into his own.

"Connor, you are no machine. You are my brother, and I care about you. We all do."

Connor blinked in surprise , his eyes welling with tears as he let out a choked sob; burying his face into Hanks shoulder. He felt Markus gently squeeze his hand, and he felt his heart swell.

This…was his family…

Machines…well they didn't have family did they?

…Maybe he wasn't a machine after all…


End file.
